Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
