check it out our google latitudes are spooning
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
