do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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