remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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