K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
