Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
