Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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