Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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