i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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