you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My penis needs a shock collar
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
