Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
