There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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