Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
