wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Mom said you looked used
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
