after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
