i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
