Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
