Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
