Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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