It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
