i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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