Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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