my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
