I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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