omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
