He kissed a someone with a penis
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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