dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
