hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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