I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
