Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
