i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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