I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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