Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
