so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
