so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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