But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
porn star boner night. come get it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
