Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
