The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
