i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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