So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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