turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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