Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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