I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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