____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Randomize
