it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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