We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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