That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
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