I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
