I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
