problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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