When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
