why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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