so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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