I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
