so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
