dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
my poor anus
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
