just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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