so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
