A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize