Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
