Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
