My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
as a side note pls kill me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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