I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
