hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
